Maltese Maltese
The Maltese Maltese is a movie parody of the 1941 film noir classic, The Maltese Falcon starring Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Sydney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre. Written by Dashiell Hammett and directed by John Huston for Warner Brothers. John Huston went on to direct The Treasure of Sierra Madre, Key Largo, The Asphalt Jungle and The African Queen.
Little known fact: The Maltese Falcon was made two other times prior to the 1941 version, once in 1931 and again in 1936 under the names Dangerous Female and Satan Met a Lady respectively.
In 1986 Ted Turner had the Maltese Falcon colorized much to the outrage of John Houston. After Houston’s death in 1987 the Burrheado Brothers felt it was safe to make their definitive parody spoof. But just to be sure, they waited over 20 years to make certain John Houston was completely dead before they released The Maltese, Maltese.
—————————————————————————
Mostly D.O.A.
Mostly D.O.A. is a movie parody of the 1950 movie D.O.A. starring Edmund O’Brien as the victim-hero, Pamela Britton, and Luther Adler and directed by Rudolph Mate for Cardinal Pictures. The movie starts with the wonderful gimmick of a man reporting his own murder.
Little known fact: The shot of Edmond O’Brien running down Market Street (between 4th and 6th Streets) in San Francisco was a “stolen shot,” taken without city permits, with some pedestrians visibly confused as O’Brien bumps into them. The movie was remade in 1969 as the Australian Color Me Dead and again in 1988 as D.O.A. with Dennis Quaid as the protagonist. In 2004, D.O.A. was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.”
The Burrheado Brothers were drawn to this movie because of the use of the stolen Iridium as a plot point and because it’s atomic number is 77, and as everyone knows, when two number sevens are lined up they’re great fun to look at. The Burrheado Brothers also enjoyed the fact that Frank Bigelow spent his last remaining days looking for revenge, rather than whooping it up.
_____________________________________________________
What Detour?
What Detour? is a movie parody of the 1945 film Detour. It was one of 4 films that starred Tom Neal, and a particularly good Ann Savage. It was directed by Edgar G. Ulmar and was released by the Producers Releasing Corporation (PRC) one of the so called “poverty row” film studios in early Hollywood.
Little known fact: Detour was budgeted at 30 thousand dollars, including rights to the novel, and was filmed in just 6 days. Lesser known fact: What Detour? was budgeted at 30 dollars and was shot in a day and a half. It would have been completed in just one day but the director felt that dialog was in order. In 1992, Detour was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”. As of 2010 there has been no similar love shown for What Detour?
It’s been said that the Burrheado Brothers would have felt right at home on Poverty Row in Hollywood. They view themselves as the Capra of B pictures. Capra indeed. Perhaps if Capra was a bum living under a bridge talking gibberish and wetting himself.
______________________________________________________
Monkey Largo
Monkey Largo is a movie parody of the 1948 movie Key Largo, starring Humphrey Bogart, Edward G. Robinson, Lauren Bacall, Lionel Barrymore and Claire Trevor. It was directed by John Huston and adapted from a play by Maxwell Anderson. Claire Trevor won an Oscar for Best Actress in a Supporting Role. The movie version was also nominated for a Writers Guild of America award, but honestly, who cares about writers?
Key Largo was the fourth and final film pairing of married actors Bogart and Bacall. Unfortunately Bacall was given little to do but look helpless and for some inexplicable reason, fall in love with Frank McCloud.
In Key Largo, gangsters have taken over the hotel where Frank is staying and force Frank to pilot a boat to Cuba. On the way, Frank kills each gangster one by one. Monkey Largo has something to do with gangsters as well, but instead of counterfeit money, the gang is smuggling fake Cuban cigars out of Cuba!!!?? Not to over state the obvious, but if they came from Cuba and were made by Cubans, how can they be counterfeit cigars and why is this plot point even necessary? The answer is; “precisely”. Sometimes it’s best to just sit back, switch off the logic portion of your brain, and let the art wash over you.
______________________________________________________
Too Late for Beers
Too late for Beers is a movie parody of the 1949 film noir mystery, Too Late for Tears, starring Lizabeth Scott, Don DeFore, Dan Duryea. Written by Roy Huggins directed by Byron Haskin, and distributed by United Artists. Reissued in 1955 under the title “Killer Bait”.
Byron Haskin of Arsenic and Old Lace and War of the Worlds fame teamed up with Roy Huggins to create this solid film noir entry. The pace is brisk but not painfully so. And the film is very well conceived, well directed, well edited and very well acted.
On the other hand, the Burrheado Brothers version is silly in a painful sort of way. It’s neither well edited nor well acted, (except for the role played by Monkey Monkey). It does have one thing going for it that the original movie doesn’t; a totally unnecessary dream sequence. In it, the hero gets to fight a mime. I’m sure by now, your brain is wanting to un-know that information.
___________________________________
The Strange Gloves of Martha Ivers
The Strange Gloves of Martha Ivers is a parody of the 1946 film noir; The Strange Loves of Martha Ivers, but you already knew that. Notice if you will, how cleverly the title has been changed. By adding one letter the meaning has been skewed and walla; now it’s hilarious. The 1946 version starred Barbara Stanwyck, Van Heflin, Lizabeth Scott and Kirk Douglas in his film debut. The Movie Parody Network’s version stars no one that you know and no one that you’d want to hang around with… unless you’re desperate and they’re buying, and knowing them, that’s very unlikely.
The movie opens with the main characters attempting to run away with the circus. Little known fact: This film was entered into the 1947 Cannes Film Festival. It was also nominated for an Oscar in the category of Best Writing, and to give a tired cliche a rest, legislation was passed in 1948 banning anyone, including circus folk from running away with the circus. No one is to run away with the circus, not in books, movies or real life, enough is enough!
